Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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