Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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