just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
