i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.