Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup