i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.