Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.