i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
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is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
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It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon