I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default