Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
