I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
