so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
