go do what you do best...puke behind churches
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
