Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
