Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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