8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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