Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
