some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
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i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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