ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
