Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
