Don't you send me to vm
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
