bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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