I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
