pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize