i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
