Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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