I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
