Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
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If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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