so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
