you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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