he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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