PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
