I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
