He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
