he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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