There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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