We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
