he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
