Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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