im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
