Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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