Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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