sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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