If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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