I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
