I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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