He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
