How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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