after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I sprained my soul last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
