Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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