Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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