Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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