is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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