i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
