i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
