he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
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I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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