You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
