He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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