Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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