And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
