sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
