Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
