he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
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you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
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My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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